STRESSED has become the expected state of mind for moms, and I am not ok with it. I feel like women in my community feel validated by the level of stress they can handle and still seemingly function. Stress takes away your joy, ability to be present with the ones you love, and ultimately could take away your life. Living stressed does not give you a badge of honor, it gives you a bill of bad health. I want to shake things up and challenge you to manage and eliminate stress in your life. I believe that stress is a silent killer and leads to disease; physically and mentally. If the thought of eliminating stress seems impossible then this post is written for you sister. Your relationships are probably suffering because stress is getting in the way. Stop letting stress ruin your relationships with your kids and spouse. Stop letting stress have a front row seat in your life. It’s time to take control and responsibility for managing and eliminating stress in your life.
When we are stressed our bodies are not functioning well. We will crave bad food, engage in destruction behaviors and habits. We must control, manage and eliminate stress because stress makes us sick and stupid. Think about how you react to your kids when you are stressed. Do you yell and scream? Say hurtful things? Do you ignore them? Think about how you connect with your spouse when you are stressed. Take a moment for self-awareness. I am guessing stress does not bring out the best wife in you! Stress is hurting our most important relationships and our health. That’s why it’s not negotiable, it’s necessary to take action to begin managing and eliminating stress in your life right now.
I am a 3 (Achiever) on the Enneagram Personality type test if you don’t know yours take this quick test to figure out your personality type. https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test It was shocking how accurate the description was for me. It took me years to realize I was responsible for creating the stress in my life. As an Achiever I was putting so much pressure on myself to be perfect which led to stress. I was creating problems in my life that didn’t even need to exist, therefore I would need to create solutions. That cycle would take time, energy, and focus away from being present, happy, content, peaceful and the outcome was I was always feeling stressed.
Stress had a negative impact on my ability to parent, be a loving wife, employer, friend, and ultimately I was not able to function at the top of my game. I was so distracted by stress. I am now able to reflect back on the decade I spent stressed. I believe my ego was responsible for creating problems, so I could make excuses and fix them. When I got to a place of wellness I was able to look inside for the answers, and change the destructive habit of feeling, being and living stressed.
What I did to eliminate stress:
- Learned to Let Shit GO: Yep I said it. I had an unrealistic and unattainable idea of how clean my house needed to be. I have 4 kids and thought my house should always be “show” ready. I used to follow my kids around picking up after them as they played. This behavior was totally crazy stealing my sanity and time away from being present with my kids. I had put pressure on myself that my house needed to be perfect. I let fear of someone stopping by and seeing an untidy house make me crazy. After my third kid I completely changed my mindset and expectations of how my house had to look and it was freeing. I know my spotless or messy house does not define my self worth, and anyone that stops by knows that too. They know I have 4 kids and they love me and my family for who we are, not if my house looks “show” ready. When I gave myself permission to let this go and pick up at the end of the day once the kids are in bed it changed my life. It freed up time and eliminated a huge amount of stress I had been putting on myself.
- Exercise Every Single Day: My yoga practice is my lifeline. It brings me peace, sweat, community, and serotonin which makes me feel happy and eliminates stress. I know that if I don’t move my body daily I will feel stressed. If you don’t crave movement and exercise keep trying new ways to workout. You have to find something that your mind and body enjoys for it to become a habit. Once it becomes a habit then it will be a sacred YES in your life. If you don’t look forward to your workout you won’t make it a habit or a yes.
- Morning Ritual: I was solely responsible for putting stress on myself, so once I was able to surrender to the idea that my mindset was controlling the amount of stress that I welcomed into my life I was able to find a solution. For me I had to eliminate getting out of bed feeling stressed. It was a snowball affect and the stress would pile up all day long. I had to transform my mornings and my mindset. I began implementing a morning ritual that I created to bring gratitude and peace into my mornings. Here’s my post to learn more about why my morning ritual is a scared YES in my life, and how to create your own that will help you begin each day with a positive mindset and less stress. https://megansyogatribe.com/morning-ritual/
- Made NO’s Necessary: I keep this Simple Sister I learned to Say NO to physical things, invites, obligations, listening to gossip, being around toxic people, and much much more. I learned to say NO to anything or anyone who didn’t bring me joy and align with my purpose. I also learned that I didn’t need to give some crazy explanation or excuse for saying NO. I own my NO’s. When you say NO your NO’s make room for your sacred YES’S and those sacred YES’S are what help you manage and eliminate stress.
- Created a Mantra: Slow Down, Live Simply, Be Present. I created this mantra because when I slow down, live more simply and I am present and my favorite version of myself. I highly recommend creating a mantra for how you want to feel and live. I say my mantra dozens of times each day because it’s my constant reminder of what I need to do to be the happiest, healthiest, and most balance version of myself.
- I Changed My Mindset: I no longer let myself believe that being busy and stressed equaled successful. I no longer believe that feeling stressed was validation of working hard. I no longer believe that it’s the norm to feel stressed. I now believe stress is a silent killer, and if I don’t manage and eliminate stress in my life it will steal my joy, destroy my relationships, and ultimately could kill me.
Life is too short to spend it stressed out all the time. Your family needs and wants you fully present , balanced and happy. If you are struggling with stress I encourage you to find solutions and make eliminating and managing stress a priority in your life, because you deserve freedom from stress, and the negative affects it has on your life.
Much Love & Gratitude,